My neighbors bring the crazy out of me. Every day that I stay home from work is another day I plot my the demise of my neighbors. The incessant fighting over parking spots, constant banging of who knows what over my head, the annoying “peeps” into my patio, into my home… I feel this sensation bubbling up from the pit of my stomach and I want to satiate it.
– Gather my dog’s accidents and leave them in a bucket in the corner of the patio? Let the sun heat it up and stink it up?
– Gather my dog’s accidents and smash them into the landing at the bottom of the stairs? Or next to where they have to stand to open their car door?
– Sugar up the staircase? A collection of dog feces at the end of the sugar trail?
– Small collections of trash stuffed into their AC? Accidental liquid spills into their AC unit?
– Small collection of children’s stickers stuck all over the windows of their vehicles? You know, the ones that are impossible to get off?
– Rocks behind the tires of their vehicles?
– Notes attached to the edge of my patio, so as their curiosity gets the better of them and they start peering into my balcony, they’ll be greeted with less than savory tidbits of how I REALLY feel about them?
– A note attached to the front part of their patio, with an arrow pointing up, specifying that a royal team of troglodyte c*nts live upstairs?
– Calling up my dear friend at the tow company and have all three cars towed out of spite?
– Get a big dog and let him growl, hiss, spit and bark at them as they walk by?
– Blast shotgun sound clips at random intervals throughout the night into their bedroom, with the bass boost on high?
HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH BAD NEIGHBORS WITHOUT GOING INSANE? Moving is, currently, not an option and flat out smacking them in the head isn’t an option, nor legal, either.
I dream of the day where I don’t worry or stress about whether or not my husband and I will come home and have a spot to park in. I dream of the day where we have NO one over our head, making our lives miserable. I dream of the day where I retaliate against my upstairs neighbors in such a way that they become so scared of me that they move.
Alas, I don’t want to end up in jail… so for now, it’s all just a bunch of plans that will, more likely than not, never come to fruition. Until then, you’ll find me ripping out my hair, banging a broom on the ceiling and yelling obscenities at the illegal immigrants living over my head.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Three Words a Day:
Day 41:
http://threewordsaday.wordpress.com/2014/02/10/20140210-day-41/
battle
speed
separately
member
version
The speed of which the battle was fought was explained differently with each individual’s version.
Day 42:
http://threewordsaday.wordpress.com/2014/02/11/20140211-day-42/
nice
welfare
invisible
signs
tremble
A tremble passed through her frail body,
as the signs came into focus.
The welfare of her and her family was in the hand of an invisible being,
who was anything but nice.
Day 43:
http://threewordsaday.wordpress.com/2014/02/12/20140212-day-43/
undo
ahead
especially
better
attraction
Undo what has been done ahead of time to better yourself.
Blue-Eyed Rockabella 